This is a story of a girl...

Everything happens for a reason...

2010-08-08T20:13:00.003-06:00

I have to remind myself this daily! It's been rough the last few months & I am looking forward to times with less stress! Which I hope is sometime soon! Not sure how much more I can take honestly!
At the moment Jeremy & I are living with his family. For the most part it's wonderful & we all get along. But what I miss the most is having privacy, my own space, and all our thing's.
Jeremy, myself, & our 3 children sleep in the living room. *Le Sigh*
So as I'm sure you can imagine, it sucks! Especially when you are living in a household of 10. You don't get a whole lot of sleep. People get up & down all night or are noisy... It just stinks. I am thankful that we have a roof over our heads & food.

Thing's have been harder than usual. Right now we've had to endure Jeremy's brother throwing temper tantrums of loosing his truck in a drinking & driving accident, that he was the one who did the drinking & driving. He drove his truck into a phone pole going 90 miles an hr. with their cousin in the car. Both of them were fine thank God. But since then *4 months ago* He's been whoa is me, & why did this happen to me. It's rather frustrating! He storms around the house swearing, screaming, slamming & breaking things.
He's broken several plates, punched a hole in a door, & broke the screen door... SO SICK OF IT!

Not to mention that we've had to deal with Jeremy's alcoholic step-dad. Who goes on week or two long benders, coming home swearing about how he hates everyone & they all should die. Or talks about porn when my kids are in ear shot. >=( I can't STAND that guy!! We stayed with Jeremy's wonderful Aunt & Uncle Sat. night & they've offered that if thing's continue that we're welcome there. But we're hoping his mom takes care of actually kicking the a$$ hole out!

BUUUUUT I do have good news =) I got a job! Woo! I now work @ Ross Dress for Less =D I love my job! I started in May. And the on going joke when I started was "don't drink the water, or you'll get pregnant.".... Well guess what I found out on July 1st.... Yea I'm pregnant lol I was on the pill & Boy was it a big surprise! We were both shocked! But are very excited. And I defiantly believe thing's happen for a reason. The week I found out I was pregnant, when I was freaking out about "how are we going to be able to handle this, when we live in the living rm. of Jeremy's mom's, Jeremy doesn't have a job, & I make min. wage." Jeremy got a job! So know that thing's will be okay! He's working for Umbrella Properties & has been there for about almost a month now. He loves it & has been doing great! So proud of him!

I'm due March 1st as of for now. My 1st Dr. appointment is Aug 17th, I'll be 12 weeks & 1 day. So far thing's have been going good. Minus the nausea & vomiting lol Less stress would be nice! Like I said before hoping that happens soon.

It's also looking like we can move in a month or so =) Hoping sooner. VERY EXCITED about that! It'll be mine & Jeremy's 1st place together! At the apartment I felt like it was his, since I moved in with him. But this will be our home together. Our 1st place as a married couple!! Very exciting stuff if you ask me. So I know there is a light at the end of the tunnel, but it's hard to see it at times. Just have to keep reminding myself =)

Wow What a year it has been for me..

2010-02-27T11:27:00.004-07:00

If you would've asked me last year at this time if I would be happy, in love, & remarried to the man of my dreams, I would've laughed in your face. Well that is what I am. =) And I can't help but thank the Gods everyday for it. I am truly blessed to have Jeremy in my life & am ridiculously happy! I almost forgot how it felt to feel like this!!

A LOT A LOT has happened over the last few months. In Dec. I miscarried, which turned out to be a very good thing, because at the end of Jan. Jeremy lost his job. Which he was the assistant manager at the apartments we were living at. So now we're staying with his family. Which is rather nice. There is 10 of us here, but it's a rather big house & I LOVE having family around. Never got much of that before, and I am enjoying it. Plus we always have a sitter most of the time. =P
I do miss our privacy.. but hey thank god we have them, because our asses would be homeless if it wasn't for them. So we can sacrifice a little privacy for a roof over our heads.

But here's the fun news! Jeremy & I got married on Valentines Day!! SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! He was so cute! He did most of the planning. lol Cause we did all the planning in two weeks! Yes I know we're nuts, But when you find that one love.. You just know! And we both just know. Our wedding was perfect for us. Small, simple, & unique.

Tess stayed the night before & we played rockband and hung out with his cousins and family. We all pretty much just hung out most of the day til it was wedding time. Very relaxed compared to most weddings. One of the main reasons neither one of us wanted a regular wedding. It was just too stressful for either one of us. All we cared about was being married to each other!
Our friend, Will who's ordained is the one who married us, at Jeremy's mom's house in there pretty back yard. Jeremy's father walked me down the isle. If I was thinking about it I would've had my brother give me away. But I totally was frazzled & too excited to even focus on anything than the fact that I was marring my bestie! lol But it was nice that Bob was nice enough to do that for us. ** Jeremy & his dad haven't always gotten along or have that great of a relationship.** Moving along though =P I walked down the isle to Green Day "Last Night On Earth" *~ Mine & Jeremy's Song. Plus Jeremy took me to see them in Seattle this summer. Talk about fun! =)~* So it was very fitting for me. The ceremony was short & sweet. But perfect! Here's a video of it: I could barely talk through my vows cause Jeremy's were so so sooooo sweet! We then toasted and started partying! Did the norm. stuff. Cake, dance *which his step daddy wrote us a song & it was super sweet!*,be merry. It was such a wonderful day!! His mom & Aunt got us a room at this AMAZING bed & Breakfast called the Campbell Inn, which they upgraded for free! So we had a jacuzzi & fireplace!! Sooooooo nice! I love love loved the place!! it was awesome! Such a perfect way to end our wedding. But now I've been married to my bestie for almost two weeks & it just keeps getting better. So that's it for my update at the moment. I'm sure more is to come.

This was NOT the way I wanted 2009 to end!

2009-12-30T17:24:00.002-07:00

Late Sunday night I started bleeding & by yesterday afternoon I was cramping, & the bleeding had increased & was having a miscarriage. I'm heart broken, I never wanted to be pregnant before & I can't even express how bad I wanted this pregnancy. So this is extremely difficult, & I feel like it was stolen from me, & don't understand why.
But I'm coming to terms with that everything happen for a reason, & that Jeremy & I will have a baby when the time is right. But it's still a hard pill to swallow.

Morning sickness BLOWS!

2009-12-28T15:29:00.003-07:00

I'm so sick of feeling sick! This reeeeeaaaaly stinks! I'm super excited about being preggers, & this is really the 1st pregnancy I can say that about. But OMG I'm nauseous all the time! Nothing I do makes it go away! And I'm not even 5 weeks! It started right away! Bleh! I'm just hoping it goes away & doesn't stick around the whole pregnancy.

And I think if I was skinny I would be showing already.. Cause my pants are highly annoying & feel a bit snug.. I'm feeling like a cow at the moment.. So not having a super happy moment lol

But yay for new baby on the wat =P

Here's to a happy New Year!

2009-12-11T17:59:00.004-07:00

Things have been going along wonderfully! For Christmas Jeremy got me a snazzy new laptop! It's super duper bad ass! I highly recommend HP =)

We also have some big new to share! We now have a bundle of joy on the way. We decided to try for a baby.. and the 1st try we got lucky! Some people might think we're nuts, but we can't be happier. I've never been this blissfully happy in my life it's pretty awesome! We can't wait to meet our lil bean. I'm due Sept. 1st 2010! I hopefully will be going to the dr with in the coming week, so that due date might change. Some peeps think I'm further along.. But I'm not sure. But as for now I'm just over 4 weeks! Squeeee!

Oh & this is totally random! I just watched the trailer for the Tim Burton's "Alice in Wonderland". OMG LOVE LOVE IT! For anyone who knows me at all, they know my obsession with Alice in Wonderland! I've loved it since I was a little girl! But I totally love the take that Time Burton has done! Looks A-MAZING! Not to mention Johnny Depp as the Mad Hatter, how can you go wrong with that?!
Here's the trailer! Alice in wonderland trailer You totally need to check it out fo shiz!

I can hear the Bells...

2009-09-23T13:03:00.004-06:00

On Sunday September 20th, Jeremy proposed to me. *Does happy dance*
Most people would think we've been moving at light speed. But when you know, you know! Things have been amazing & I can honestly say that I knew from the 1st date that he was the man I was suppose to be with.
The second time around is so much better! We're not going to rush getting married. I refuse to be "Bridezilla". I want to actually enjoy the fact that I get to marry the man of my dreams!
But I shall dish the dirt on the proposal. =)
We had been talking about marriage & all that jazz for a while. The weekend before while we were at the mall, Brycen *Jeremy's son* & I had been window shopping. And I kind of pointed out a ring that I thought was nice. Not my fave, but it was okay. Jeremy had the ring that he proposed to his ex with, & I had seen it before. And from the second I saw it I fell in love with it. She never really liked it or even wore it. Which killed me.
But on the 19th, we went to the same mall, and I went to get some candy & he went to the "bathroom".
He came back all excited after he took FOREVER. But said he couldn't tell me why he was excited. But when we got home he started taking pictures of the engagement ring & started planning on selling it on craigslist. I just pouted coloring trying not to look at the ring too much, cause it killed me to see it. I really LOVED it! It seriously was a dream engagement ring in my opinion!
I happened to look at the receipt from the ring & saw that he had bought it from the very jewelry store that my adopted mom works at. So I looked even closer & saw that there was the associate that helped him was my mom! He purchased the ring 3 years ago, from my mom! So we both thought it was very weird.
But the following morning I looked at the ring & he noticed the sad look on my face & asked would it bother me to have that ring. Instantly I said no, it was just too weird that my mom was the one who helped him at the store & I LOVED it! Then he got on one knee & asked me to marry him *SWOON*
Not your normal proposal, but we're not your normal couple either. It was a perfect proposal in my book.
Jeremy was having issue with the fact that he gave me the old ring, & I did feel a bit bad. But our neighbor, whom is wise in her years. Told us that the ring doesn't come with the woman, it comes with the man. He has to find the perfect woman for it. Which totally hit a cord with us. Since his ex didn't even like the ring, & I loved it from the second I saw it! =)
I can't wait to be his wife & am honored to be the one who gets the ring.

Wow I'm rather niave sometimes

2009-09-16T16:17:00.006-06:00

So most who know me, know my obsession & love of Bettie Page..

Well Jeremy's friend kind of snickered when he saw some of my Bettie stuff & said "that explains a lot." I shrugged it off & really didn't think much of it.
See doesn't she look sweet & innocent *Wink Wink*

But that same weekend I made Jeremy watch the movie about Bettie Page "The Notorious Bettie Page".

So as we're watching it, and Jeremy turns to me, smiling and says "your idol was a porn star?" My first reaction was shock. "NO! She's not a porn star, she was a pin up. Big difference." Was my response. But the more I thought about it & looked at ALL of the random things I own.. Yea my idol is a porn star tee hee
I don't know how I managed to never see it before Jeremy pointed it out. I mean for crying out loud she was the pioneer of bondage lol I'm really slow sometimes. But the best part of her was that she never really thought she was doing something naughty & she was a christian woman her whole life =P

Doesn't change my love of her... Now I understand when I get the little looks & comments from his friends. Yes I'm a naughty girl too. In the words of Bettie Page "I was NEVER the girl next door."

Out of the Darkness Walk PLEASE READ!!

2009-09-01T14:48:00.002-06:00

Most people who know me, know that my adopted dad took his own life September 13, 2006. This year in my town for the 1st time the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention will be holding a walk in support of Suicide Awareness on October 18th. My family & I will be taking part in this event. I would love it if anyone who reads this can pass the link to my donation site to help me raise money I would be utterly grateful.
Here's the link to my page.
http://afsp.donordrive.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=donorDrive.participant&eventID=949&participantID=58402

Happy Thoughts.. Right?

2009-09-01T13:33:00.003-06:00

So It's officially September... The month I happen to hate the most.. Well atleast for the last almost 3 years.. On September 9th it will be 3 years since the last time I saw my adopted dad Ron, & on the 13th it will be the 3 year Ann. of the night he took his own life... SO not my fave month ever.
But I seem to be handling it better than I did last year. I don't know if it is cause I am actually happy besides dealing with the grief of missing Ron. But it doesn't feel so raw & painful.. But still sucks balls!
I'm also trying to think about all the positives.. Yes I miss him, BUT things in my life are going right. Yes I would love to share all the joys going on in my life with him, But I know he wouldn't want me to be mopping around crying all the time.
I also know it's not healthy to ignore the pain. So I'm just trying to find the happy medium... Easier said than done. But I think I'm doing okay. I guess that is all I can ask for at the moment.

It only took 10 years!!

2009-08-17T11:07:00.004-06:00

So you maybe curious what too me 10 years to FINALLY get... *Drum roll please*
Oh only my FAVE perfume on the planet!! Ralph by Ralph Lauren. Some may think this isn't a blog worthy topic. But on the contrary. This isn't just any ol' Tom, Dick, or Harry perfume. This is the perfume I've been coveting this perfume since I was 15 or 16. It was always too expensive for my poor ass as a teenager. So I always walked past it sadly dreaming of the day I would own it. Then as I got older, I never got it because I thought it was too much to spend on myself. I always talked myself out of it. So once again the sad stare & walking away.
But not anymore!! I FINALLY bought it for myself this weekend. =D WOO GO ME! The Lil' perfume store at my mall I work at, was having a wicked sale & I broke down & got it!! So now I smell scrumptious, and I can stop asking for samples of it from random department stores lol There is no shame in my game =P

Le Sigh

2009-08-12T16:42:00.003-06:00

I'm trying really hard not to get down in the dumps again this year... Easier said than done.. It's just over a month away from the 3 year anniversary of my adopted dad's death. *sigh*
It's really hard to think that it's only been 3 years. On one hand it feels like it's been an eternity since the last time I saw him.. On the other, it feels like yesterday that I got the call saying he took his own life...

Suicide is one of the most confusing kinds of death to deal with. I've got the "pleasure" of dealing with several kinds of grief.. & this is by far the most difficult. I go back & forth from being mad at him, to missing him, to feeling guilty for things I got that my little brother & sister will never get, & to wanting to scream... the list can go on.. So many conflicting feelings. They say the pain of loosing someone gets easier with time.. That is complete bullshit. The quote I recently got tattooed from the book New Moon is the most fitting I've come by so far.
"It didn't feel like the pain had weakened over time, rather I'd grown strong enough to bear it"

My biggest fear is forgetting the sound of his voice & his laughter. Two of the most comforting sounds. And with my divorce I know he would've had some great advice... He always knew what to say when you were upset or needed a shoulder to cry on.
Also I know he would've loved Jeremy! They're very similar in many ways.. I really wish he was still around to meet him...
It breaks my heart having Ky Ky not know who he is, and Beth really doesn't remember him. Not to mention how his death has destroyed my family. Shalla will never be the same. She's not the same person anymore & doesn't know how to even really cope with her grief.. None of us are the same.. But I'm trying to remind myself that it's okay to smile again & live. But Shay has seemed to forgotten how to do that.. Sometimes you seem to see a glimmer of her old self, but for the most part she's lost in her grief & depression. And then she gives me a guilt trip for trying to move on.. And it's not the fact that I'm even moving on.. I'm just not allowing myself to sit around & wallow in my own self pity. That has gotten me no where & I hate being like that.. But once again I find myself rather sensitive & kind of pissy. So I feel bad for my family & friends who have to be near me at the moment.. I either want to snap at you for nothing you really did, or cry at a comment that I know is a joke. * I did BOTH of these things to Jeremy last night.. OOPS*
So I am hoping I don't drive Jeremy batty in the next month, or that I myself don't loose it lol I know Ron wouldn't want me to sit around crying. He was a very fun loving, out going person & wouldn't want me to stop living my life. I just miss him & wish I could get a hug from him.. That is all I really want. I never got a good bye... And there are so many unsaid things that I wish I could've told him.. But I can't change anything so all I can do it just try & get by =)

Guess who's back.....

2009-08-11T10:48:00.010-06:00

It's been far far too long again.. Almost a year.. Yea I know. Naughty me =P But I'm Baaaaaack! And I promise to myself & ya'll that I shall be on here more!

My wonderful JenBun & I had a nice lil' convo about this glorious site last night & how good of an outlet it is. She's wise beyond her years =)

But back to the subject at hand.. ME =D My fave subject! LOL A LOT has happened in this last year; some bad, a lot good. So overall things are going good.

The biggest news of it all is that I'm now divorced. As sad as it is that I'm a divorced before I'm even 30, It's a good thing. That was the only real feeling I had. So I know I've made the right choice. But still feel like a failure a bit. It was hard at first when I left Kyle. But I needed to do it & it should've happened a lot sooner than it did. Denial is a great thing. It's been difficult on the kids. Ky Ky seems to be the one having the hardest time. But he's beginning to understand that it will be okay in the end, & that just because Kyle & I aren't together, doesn't mean we love him any less. He's a daddy's boy for sure. So this has been a huge change for him. And the fact that he's only 4 & doesn't understand it all makes it a bit harder. But he picks up on a lot more than I would've given him credit for. My kiddo's a smarty pants =P I'm just hoping that Kyle & I can be friends through this. We just recently signed the divorce papers, & things have seemed to be fine. He goes back & fourth from being rather pleasant, to giving me the "eat shit & die" look. So I don't know when or if we shall ever be able to maintain a friendship. I am hoping as time passes, he'll be able to come around. I want to be friends for more than the kids sake. He's a good guy, & I hate to see him so bitter.

Also Beth just turned 7 last week & will be going into the 2nd grade in the fall.!! I still can't believe that she's already 7! Not to mention that she will be going into the 2nd grade! Eeek! I FEEL OLD! Waaaahhhh! But she will be going to a new school. So that's going to be a little hard on her, but she's friendly enough to make new friends easily enough. My daughter isn't all that shy. lol But I am hoping that she likes the school. It's not too new of a school, since she took a summer reading camp at that school last summer. So I'm hoping that helps the transition a bit more.

Another wonderful change in my life is that I met someone & am actually living with him now too. I know sudden, but life's short. Jeremy is amazing. He's 6 years older than me & has a 8 year old son. Who's adorable. He only has Brycen every other week, but it's still fun & trying at times to have 3 kids between the age ranges of 4, 7, & 8. It's been a huge change for all of us, but it's been rather good as well.
We planned on taking things slow.. And that didn't work out so well lol I am madly in love and for the 1st time in a very long time I'm actually happy. We've had so many awesome adventures it's hard to even share them all. =D We went to see Green Day in Seattle on the 3rd of July, we went to the country fair & and a blasty blast, we just got back from a fun family camping trip, & not to mention all the fun random dates. He's defiantly my Edward! hee hee Of course I would make a Twilight reference. He's shown me that I'm beautiful just the way I am and he's so freaking amazing! He's pretty much the male version of me, but with a few twists to make it interesting. He keeps me on my toes that's for sure. I can't imagine my life without him. I know it hasn't been all that long we've been together, but sure feels like I've always been with him. It just feels right. I can't put it in any other words. He also gave me the little push to actually go apply for the internship @ a local radio station here. And I got it. =D It's been super fun. I've got to do lots of fun random events.
See so overall, all is good on the home front.

Been FAR FAR too long!! REEEALLLY LOOONNNG!

2008-09-09T19:20:00.005-06:00

I know it's been quite sometime since my last post.. My computer stinks lately & for some reason, it's not a big fan of this site =( tends to freeze or shut it's self off whenever I try to read or comment.. I am HOPING it lets me get through this whole blog before either one of those things happen.. Keep your fingers crossed.

Lets see where to begin...

I am now a mother of a 1st grader.. I know sounds like I'm super old all of a sudden.. Or at least that is how it makes me feel! I know I had her @ 19 & in all actuality I am NOT THAT old! But doesn't make me feel all that young either. But so far the first week has been good. Not a fan of getting up early. I didn't like it last year, & am certainly still not a fan.

But on the plus side, she's now in school til 2:30, instead of shortly after 12pm =) Surprising how 2 hours can make such a difference! Feels like FOREVER, but nice at the same time.

Ky Ky starts pre-school next week! We have open-house on the 11Th, & he is looking forward to meeting his teacher & hopefully some of his classmates!And he actually starts on the 22ND. He can't wait & has been driving me insane since Beth has gone back! "I WANT TO GO TO SCHOOL TOO!!"

But on the other hand.. I am now going to have a 3 hours of no kids... I haven't had this in 6 years... What am I going to do? I know everyone thinks 3 hrs isn't all that long..

But when you've never had a 3 hr break from being a mom 5 days a week... I am excited & worried all at the same time.

Yes I have been away from my kids for a whole week before, not worrying at all. But they were safe at home with their daddy =) But now they will be in school, growing up learning skills so they no longer need me lol I know I am getting ahead of myself =P

But I bet I will grow to love it =D I have a feeling on that one hee hee

Hmmmm.. What else?

I've actually discovered I have a love for reading =) I don't read all that often. I've always said I am not very good at it, & am slow.. Well I proved myself wrong! And now am seeking for more books that could possibly hold my attention such as these!! I know now I've got all of you wondering what book could possibly spark such a sudden passion for reading. Well I shall share with you =)

It's the "Twilight" series by Stephenie Meyer.

It's a 4 book series.. Well possibly 5 if she finishes this other one that has yet to be released.. But I will get to that in a moment.

But OMG these books are A-M-AZING!! I Started "Twilight" last Fri. & it's close to a 500 page book! I was a little intimidated by it. But once 20 pages in I couldn't put it down! I had to tear myself away, when I realized it was 2am! Same thing for Sat. I finished it Sun. before I had to go to work. =) Totally shocked! That is the thickest book I have read & also the shortest time I've ever read a book! Woo hoo! So Sun. on my break I started book 2 "New Moon", Which was a bit closer to 600 pages.. finished it Tue when I got home from work. Started book 3 "Eclipse" 1st thing Wed. am after dropping Beth off at the bus stop( a bit more than 600 pages this time) & finished it Fri. afternoon . & Started "Breaking Dawn" the 4Th & "final" book in the saga (754 pages to be exact =P) & would've finished it sun night, but made myself stop reading it, so I could save it for the am on Mon. I had 54 pages left & it wasn't that late, but I didn't really want it to end yet lol

So 4 pretty big books in just over a week!! Pretty awesome if I say so myself!! But on the same subject! I am hoping that Stephenie will finish & release the book she was working on "Midnight Sun" which is a combination of the 4 books, but from one of the character Edwards point of view instead of Bella's!! But she stopped working on it when someone leaked some of it on to the Internet before she has finished it!! Now she's not sure if she's going to actually finish it since she feels violated & hurt! I read on her website & got to read the 1st chapter of it which she decided to post so people could read it & not feel like they're going behind her back since she knows curiosity would probably get the best of her fans! So I am HOPING with enough people emailing her, she can get back into the right mindset & finish this! Cause just from the 1st chapters ROUGH draft it was AMAZING & left me hoping for more! I will be seriously upset if it's not released.

So as you see from this HUGE RANT! I now like reading & am now on a "quest" to find more books that can catch my attention even more =) If you've got suggestions LET ME KNOW!

OK another reason that I may have read these books so feverishly is.. that I'm actually kinda avoiding a unhappy anniversary this coming week. *sigh*

On Sat September 13Th.. (random fact from my books that happened to be the main characters b-day.. CREEPY) it will be the 2 years since the night that my adopted dad took his own life.. via hanging..

I didn't realize that it would be much worse than last years Ann. But it's almost a 100 times worse! Which I have discovered why, Or I think I have figured out why. I was still pretty numb.

But now I have been feeling the full affect of it all. I've gone back to being mad at him for doing this to our family!The feeling guilty for being mad at him, confused by it all, & most of all the gut wrenching pain! It physically hurts when I think about it & focus on the fact that he is gone & when the grief hits me! It comes like a wave & will last for awhile. Sometimes it is easier to get back to managing the pain, & others not so easy.. I have been trying hard to ignore the days as it creeps closer.. But not with much success..

Today it's been 2 years exactly since the last time I saw him.. Since my children saw him. I can remember it like it was just yesterday! Seems like he just picked us up & took us to their new place, screaming at the duck game that was on & letting Beth beat him up cause she was his kung-fu princess! He made plans to take Beth to see "Open Season" since the missed her 4Th b-day party since the were moving that weekend.. He played with Ky Ky who was just a little over 1.. When I said goodbye & good night if I had only know that it would be the last time.. EVER! It's also the day that I took the last pic of him EVER!

It kills me that I know Ky Ky doesn't remember him!

How Beth kind of remembers him, but as she gets older, I know she won't really..

It's hard for me to even really talk about it... So I've been trying not to think about it. But easier said then done. But the fact is that I miss him more & more every day! & it kills me that I got things from him that my little sister & little brother will never have!

I am thankful for what he gave me in the time he was in my life, but that doesn't lessen the pain or hurt that he left us with..

But I guess I have written FAR FAR more than I meant to. So I shall stop here. Thanks for reading if you managed to read it all :P

He must be a god!

2008-08-13T15:11:00.003-06:00

Ok So I have been a Michael Phleps fan since last Olympics in 2004. I never really cared about the summer Olympics, til him :P He caught my attention in the 2004 Olympics. How could he not? :D

But OMG he's totally blown me away this year!

So if anyone has kept up on his swimming or the Olympics in general so far, you would know he just won his 11Th GOLD metal of his career.

Oh BTW no one in the history of the Olympics has done that! He won I think 7 or 8 metals in 2004

Right now your probably thinking wow not bad. But 5 of them are from just this Olympics. He's won NOTHING but gold so far!!

In 2004 he won 6 gold, and a silver & bronze.

But he has 3 more metals to go for this Olympics. I am sure they will be gold as well! That will also be another Olympic history making event. I'm pretty sure the most gold metal won in one Olympics by a person was 7 or 6. Something like that.

But he's already swam 8 times out of the 17 he has. He's insane! And everything he has won in China has been at world record speed! Which they were already his world records to break!

So this is why I'm pretty sure he's a god or something. A descendant from the Greek god Poseidon, the ruler of the seas!
Here's a video of his 1st swim of the games. Kinda crappy. But gives you a better idea of his awesomeness!

My baby is 6!

2008-08-03T15:49:00.003-06:00

Holly crap I still can't believe it! Yesterday was Beth's 6th b-day. It was weird that she turned 6, but had a "teenager" theme of a party. Instead of little kid stuff. We had a Hannah Montana party & She made out like a bandit & now owns a TON of Hannah Montana things.. Not sure how i feel about that.. Kinda odd.

But she had a great time & I am still in shock over here. My baby is growing up.. I feel old. I know 25 isn't all that old. But having a 6 year old makes me feel super old!

Who my kids think I went to visit(Frank You'll love this!)

2008-07-29T12:26:00.007-06:00

So my kids knew I was going to visit Jenny.. But they think I went & met Jenny.. The robot from the cartoon " My Life as a teenage Robot" Yea thought that would make you happy Frank :P
Even after the fact that I showed them pictures of the real Jenny, they still don't want to believe that I didn't meet the robot Jenny.

Kids are silly!! Just thought I would share this little random fact about my silly kids!

They also still refer to her as a robot :P

OH but on a different note.

Kyle & I went & saw "Dark Knight" on Fri. night. F*CKING AWESOME MOVIE!! There wasn't one thing wrong with the movie! Kyle & I left the theater & was in awe of it!

Kinda confused why Maggie Gyllenhaal was in it instead of Katie Holms. Is that how you spell her last name?

Oh well. The whole movie was great! I loved it!! It's sad that this was Heath's last movie, cause he was AMAZING!! I think he would've gotten an Oscar for sure if he hadn't passed away!

Such a great movie. I have to see it one more time before it leaves the theater! If you haven't seen this movie. It's a must see!! It's really that good!! I don't think I've come across someone who hasn't LOVED this movie!!

Back to life, back to reality..

2008-07-25T12:31:00.007-06:00

So I'm back home, and back to the normal routine. The kids fighting.. That's a big sister & little brother for you. I missed them, but didn't miss the fighting.
And the best treat coming home was how Kyle cleaned the house top to bottom! SPOTLESS! Simply gorgeous! I thought I was going to come home to a mess! He texted me while I had a layover in vegas, how he worked out & the living room was a mess. Liar Liar pants on fire! The ENTIRE house sparling clean. Ok minus the fridge. I guess he forgot the firdge. But WHO CARES! NOT ME!!

Oh but you noticed how I mentioned I had a layover in Vegas.. Well that sucked. The only time in didn't like being in vegas! I was supost to leave @ 11:51pm arive home @ 1:56am.. Well when I got to vegas, I noticed my flight said "est. 12:30" ok annoying, but not bad. then around midnight. The guy on the intercom said that we wouldn't be leaving til MAYBE 1:30 >:( So then I sneaked out & smoked, then went back through security & came back to see now it said 2am! OHHH I was getting so annoyed. Well we ended up boarding around 1:45am leaving around 2:15, & landed about 3:45 am. I got home a little after 4am.. YUCK! So I was DRAINED Thursday!

But I had such a fun time in lovely Cali with the amazing JenBun! From the entertaining gay pride parade. These were the best shirts ever! Need to get one lol. Where I got one of the worst burns ever! But worth it! I was introduced to Peets Coffee, more like Peets Crack! SOO GOOD! So sad my lil town doesn't have one! Theres some 2 hours away. But I think that is a little far to travel for coffee.. But next time I am in Portland I will be getting some for sure! I seriously drank at least one ea. day I was there :D

The stealing of inflatable Flamingos. Well it's not stealing when the bouncer give you them :P

How we made our own parade walking home, & shopping and the yummiest deep dish pizza & potatoes I've ever eaten!!

The buying of yummy cheesecake & chats with Frank on the phone :) How JenBun made fun of me for buying a little gay pride flag " your not gay" I wanted one for my scrapbook! "55$ how did we spend that much?!" Who knows! We must of gotten carried away with all the cheese, crackers, cheese cake, & gay pride flags :P From the walking of Alligator puppies & chats with them "woof" I also learned "it's illlleeegal!" to smoke in Cali. Apparently theres lots of law breakers around there ;)

To the watching or reality TV. Just being able to watch TV together & be silly was a total treat!

JenBun has been one of the greatest friends I've ever had. Been there for me like no other. So just to be able to do "normal" things like this together was a treat for us!

Also 12$ roller coaster that we didn't end up ridding so we could save some money. Then blowing it on a tattoo. :D I got my ladybug tattoo :D YAY!! Not the penis one though. JenBun that one is for you ;) JenBun flirting with the tattoo artist. ;)

My days while JB had to work just laying by the pool, working on my burn & reading magazines sipping coffee!
She made me a map to Peets coffee the 1st day. That was fun having to follow my treasure map to get coffee. I did have a minor set back on the way back the 1st time, but managed to get back lol

Enjoying the beautiful Art that Jen's mommy made. She is an AMAZING artist & is so talented!! Gorgeous art work all over their lovely home!

Being entertained by the silly cats! Who hate each other. It was just such a wonderful trip! I'm sad that it had to end. I would've loved a little more time! 5 days was not enough! But we'll hang out again soon enough.

Good things have to come to an end, right?

2008-07-23T16:56:00.003-06:00

I think this sayin is stupid! But it's kinda true! My visit is coming to an end :( As craptastic as that may be, it's been a life altering experence & I would & will be doing this much more!!
We've had too much fun to even explain it all! It was hell to get me here, but 100% worth it & next time there will be even more fun. If that is even possible! I spent far too much money & I don't care. Would I do it all over again YES I WOULD!! & I am going to be ready for my next visit! But JB should be visiting me in my much less exciting of a town before then :) We'll make it a much more exciting town when she gets here ;)
The two of us together is rather entertaining if I must say!
We've made it fun no matter what we've been doing. Long drives by the beach. "If i was more romantic we could watch the sunset together" Cracking up over nothing, talking with a lisp :D just total silliness where ever we went. Pillow pets! I really want the ladybug! Being talked out of buying perfume. Christmas?? Right?
Yummy pizza & cheesecake!
Being introduced to Peets coffee! You will be sending me some JB YUMMMY I am hooked!
The gay pride parade, lots of sexy gay men! Mmm Mmm very nice on the eyes!
Farmers Market. Being forced to eat yummy food by 2 utterly adorable gay men! Not spending more than 5 $ there I'm proud of myself! Don't forget the pretty jewlery there Jenbun :D hee hee
Just having the time of my life. Relaxing days at JB's parents house. Not having to do anything. Not worring over silly things.
I'm sad this has to end. But I have to go home & back to my life too. It's just been one of the best weeks of my life! So very sad that it has to come to an end. But it's not good bye it's see you later. It's been such a fun time. I'm not ready to end it.

My husband is luck if I come home! kinda long

2008-07-22T10:12:00.004-06:00

So as most of you know I am here visiting the amazing JenBun!!
It's been truely wonderful!! Such a blasty blast! To finally be here with the other half of my brain is fantastic! WITH OUR POWERS COMBINED!! ;)
But I am sure you've all read her blog.. ( considering everyone that reads mine, reads hers :P)

But my adventure started WAY before hers! Mine started OH pretty much at 2am.. considering my flight left @ 5:40 AM. Thanks Jen Bun, But I didn't care less!!
So I leave the children & hubby home! & set off to the airport without a hitch, slight prob through security. They had to check my flip flop for something.. not sure what. But it turned out to be fine. They let me on the plane anyways.
My zig zag of a flight. Took me from my silly town in Oregon To Phoenix, AZ for 2 hours. Which I thought would've been a long time.. But the walk from the gate I got off took FOREVER. Didn't realize how big of an airport it was. The wait for coffee took an eternity & don't even get me started on how long it took me to get my breakfast from BK. So by the time I actually got to my gate I had like 20 mins :D Thats when I noticed the super hot Navy boy Woo Woo.
I was going to try & steal him for JenBun ;)
I did end up sitting next to him ;) He kept falling asleep on my sholder.
Finally made it to the glorious JenBun!! There was a few held back tears & lots of giggles & silliness began!

We threw my stuff down @ her parents lovely home & off we went to say "we're gay & proud" Ok maybe not us! But suport them proudly!! The parade was tons of funsies!! Even though the rude Cali sun burned my very white Oregonian skin!
We went to shop & dine afterwards (of course making time to steal some inflatable flamingos) I took in all the sites & smells & amazing Coffee! It's now crack to me! I will be having Jenbun ship it to me!

Then for some lazy Sunday fun. We went on a beach tour. I can't believe how stunning it is here. Seriously I want to stay! Kyle is lucky if I come home!!
I love the beach & to have it so close all the time! It's like heaven! The beach has always been one of my happy places! So here it's perfect!
We Stopped for Maragaritas at the place she use to go during school for a break. Not sure how JenBun graduated! I would've been a Drunk by grad lol
Then back to the beach tour to go actually on a beach :)
When we finally made it to one we had lots of silliness. Writting lots of silly messages & Me just soaking up the wonderfulness. Jen making fun of me at everything I take a picture of ;)I seriously take TONS of pictures!

Then back to home for the week & tortured JenBun by watching a "scary movie" Donnie Darko isn't all that scary! It's a great movie! JenBun doesn't like scary movies I LOVE them!

Yesterday Jenbun had to work for a bit. So I entertained my self By the map she drew me I made it down to get some coffee & succesfully made it back! Woo! sat next to the pool & played around in the pool for a bit! Then when she came home, We went for a swimlesson @ the most AMAZING home I have ever seen in my life! WOW! So it was hard being me yesterday. She appologized for having me wait. Hmmm.. "It was really hard sitting under a shade, pool side @ a multi million dollar home for a few hours, Enjoying my coffee & talking to some really nice mom's. Damn my life is hard"
After the nice pool side view we were going to go to a rollercoaster. But got there & decided not to waste to $$ on it. So I got a little lady bug tattoo instead :D
Then we went to in & out! YUM YUM!! We don't have in & outs in Oregon! They're yum-o! & we were going to have a quiet night at home, but turned out to have a lotion search for my new tattoo. Apparently it's hard to find travel size sent free lotion in Cali.

But so far this trips been amazing! & I really can't imagine not having access to hanging out with Jenbun this much! So this is going to have to become a more offten thing! :)

My weekly fav. dance

2008-07-15T14:09:00.002-06:00

I LOVED LOVED this one! They were awesome!

this one was also awesome!
These 2 are my FAV couple!

F*CK!

2008-07-15T12:59:00.002-06:00

That is all I really want to SCREAM EXTREMELY loud at the moment. Just been one of those mornings! Since I am leaving in 4 days, I'm trying to get my house all clean, since I know Kyle will do nothing while I am gone! I know him! He's already a bit bitter that I am going! Whatever. & he has literally will have been working 22 days straight the day I leave.. So I'm pretty sure he will do nothing!
So I am kinda stressed about that. Since I work all week. I do Have wed & Thurs. But I have tons of plans for those days. I am pretty sure I have Fri off too.

Also still not a 100% on what time I am leaving. JenBun make the airline hurry up!
My phone is pissing off like no other! So is my child! He won't listen, he likes to throw a fit, get into the kitchen & make the biggest mess possible, Since he knows how to open the sliding glass door. He likes to run outside when I am not looking.* which we live in townhouses & have no real yard & the parking lot is right next to our "yard" then there is a busy st. by that* fun!

Just one of those days! Feeling overwhelmed! So I shall scream F*CK! But on the plus note. My computer did work this am. & is allowing me to slack off for a bit! So one less thing to scream F*CK about :)

Damn you Technology!

2008-07-14T14:15:00.002-06:00

I love technology & hate it all at the same time! My computer has been such a pain in the butt lately!! It hardly turns on & when it does it, it shuts off randomly. Talk about frustrating!
But all hope is not lost. My husbands brother who works at Dell says he can get us a new one soon! YAY!
That makes me super happy!! Cause life without a computer isn't all that great! It stinks actually! But hopefully we will have a new one in a month or so!

But on a plus note, guess who I shall be visiting in only 5 days.. Oh that is JenBun!! WOO HOO!! I'm totally stoked! We shall have a blasty blast! I can't wait! 5 days may not seem like a long time.. but when you have to wait for something utterly awesome it feels like forever!!

Oh that's kinda sexy...

2008-07-03T22:40:00.002-06:00

As I stated last week I'm secretly obsessed with So You Think You Can Dance..
This week has sexy dances :D

Any man that can dance like that.. Oh yea lol

Here's the sexy dances :P

FYI These video clips may become a weekly thing :D Hope you enjoy

Not so Savy...

2008-06-29T15:56:00.006-06:00

So my son Ky Ky was playing with my hubby & they ended up breaking our cheapo DVD stand. Which was fine by me. Gives me an excuse to get a new one :D

Knowing that I can put it together by myself. So it would get done. Instead of waiting on my slacker of a husband to do it. It would be forever if i waited for him. He's a bit of a procrastinator.

So I put it together. Thinking I was all slick got it all done. Didn't take much time at all..

Take a look at the picture of the noted new DVD stand...
Notice anything kinda odd about the finished product.. Or something that was put on wrong...

Take a min to look..

Yea I put the top shelf on wrong. UGH! I didn't notice this till I had put it all together, & gotten all the DVDs back on it.

So now I get to be teased how I messed up the DVD shelf. But hey at least it got done! & I can just paint the unfinished part. :P

I WANT TO DO THAT!

2008-06-27T15:49:00.003-06:00

So I have no prob that I have some crappy taste in t.v. :P At least I am willing to admit it!

But a show that I'm completely obsessed with is So You Think You Can Dance. Only cause I have been totally obsessed with Dancing since I was about 5! We were poor, so I never got to take dance classes!

But on this weeks show. That I just watched yesterday.OMG one of the hip hop routines was AMAZING!!

I've decided that I will be taking some dance class of some sort when I loose a bit more weight!! My friend Ashely said she would take it with me! So that will be fun!!

It's a love, hate relationship sometimes!

2008-06-26T18:13:00.005-06:00

Since I am ubberly *yes i do make up my own words* mad at my husband right now, instead of venting about him. I have decided to remind myself what I LOVE about him instead of dwelling on his flaws!
So here's a list of his wonderful qualities that I over look most the time when I am mad!

* His sense of humor. How he can make me laugh, even when we're fighting. He still manages to get me to crack up. He loves comedy & to make people laugh! He's good at it too. But he's far too shy to ever do it for a living!

* How big his heart is! He wants to help everyone that he can. Even if the problem doesn't really concern him, if there is a way he can help fix it. He will try.

* He's an amazing father. He loves our children so much! It warms my heart to see him play with our kids! Just to see him roll around on the floor while they attack him is the cutest thing ever!

* He's a hard worker. Works hard for everything we have. A wonderful provider for our family. That is also one of his flaws all at the same time. He something thinks that working is the only way to fix the problem. Not the case all the time. But at least he works!

* How smart he is. It's frustrating that he doesn't use all his smarts to do something better for a job, but hopefully we can change that soon. He's so intelligent! He does math for fun.. Not kidding at all on this one. He has a geometry book & randomly does problems out of it. We also have a physics book too.

*His eyes :) He has some of the prettiest blue eyes known to man kind! I LOVE them :P

*He's the biggest dork ever! I do love this about him. Even though it bugs me from time to time. But he wouldn't be Kyle if he wasn't a huge dork!! I'm a dork, but he wins this battle with his love of all things that are Nerdy :P

There's more. But that is all I can think of while I am mad. I think that is good enough for the time being.

Oh the itch!

2008-06-26T14:26:00.003-06:00

I know some people are thinking something naughty from the tittle. No Jenbun not that kind of itch!

My tattoo that is healing has hit the super itchy point! It's all peeling & kinda gross looking :( You can't really tell from the pic. But it's weird looking at the moment. Most of the flower's are healed. But the tree looks 3-Dish. & OMG the itchiness!!! AHHHHH

Doesn't help that the kids keep wanting to touch it & pet it. lol

Also Jenbun if Ky Ky doesn't stop trying to jump off of everything today, you maybe getting him in the mail ;)

I swear he doesn't care if he would break every bone in his body. & using Beth as something to jump over... Yea So she's been his landing spot at least 3 times today. Surprised she's not broken either...

Boys are fun..

Thing's I should really be doing..

2008-06-25T16:03:00.003-06:00

I was horsing around on the computer, Reading blogs. Listening to my i pod super loud, when my husband called & asked what I was doing... my response; " uhh...." His; "playing on the computer, right? Shouldn't you be doing something else more productive?"

He has a point. There's tons of things that I could be getting done.

LIKE:
*Dishes
*Laundry~ Washing, Folding, & even the dreaded putting away
* My kid's room kinda needs to be picked up a bit. But they're responsible for that part, but need me to observe so they don't play more than clean
*Cleaning the upstairs bathroom.
* Even vacuum maybe.

But none of that sounds fun! Just having a rather lazy day. I am going over to my sister's house to help her friend clean before she gets home from her "vacation" to go visit our family. So doesn't that count as my cleaning for the day :P
I think so.

Graduations, Death beds, Weight loss, Anniversaries, & Inkage!!

2008-06-21T12:38:00.011-06:00

So I haven't written in awhile but I have a valid reason!
I nearly died.. OK I maybe a bit on the dramatic side.. But sure felt like it!

I thought they were allergies.. But boy was I VERY VERY wrong! So I was SUPER SICK last week!! It started about 2 Saturday's ago with this annoying cough. I thought it was allergies.

This is my 1st year having them, so I have no clue what to expect. But by Sun the cough was worse, but is still felt fine.. That was a different story Mon morning!! OMG I felt like DEATH! I woke up & my eye were BURNING, my whole body hurt, I was so congested & just plain SICK & MISERABLE!
That lasted til wed. eveningish. By Thurs. I was feeling lots better, just like I had a normal cold. Not on my death bed! My co-worker said I sound horrible, but compared to what I felt like before, i felt loads better! Now I just have the left over cough. Annoying!
& back to the runny nose of allergies. Anyone know a good allergy med??

But during my sickness, My daughter's graduated from Kindergarten :) It was the cutest most dysfunctional graduation ever :P

Beth's rather sad that she has to have a different teacher, But I know she will love her next teacher just as much.

Also in the last 2 weeks I've lost 6.8 lbs :D Woot!! Puts me close to 16lbs lost WOO HOO! GO ME!! Yea I know It's cause I didn't eat a whole lot with me being sick. But don't care :P I lost woo!

And this Thurs was mine & the Hubby's 4 year wedding Ann! Can't believe it's been that long! We've been together forever...Ok close to 7 years.. Just feels like forever lol But it's been a hard road, but I know we can make it another 4 & lots more :D

On Thurs I also happened to get the tattoo I got done after my adopted dad's death redone. Cause I wasn't pleased with it. Now it's GORGEOUS!! I found out that there is this awesome tattoo shop just up my street & the guy is amazing!! He free handed it on me & every thing! Simply amazing!

Here's Before: With the free handed drawing:

Mid way: & The Finished Product!:

I'm totally in love with it!! I just wish it would heal already lol. But I guess that takes time :P So that's a bit of what's been going on!

I think I am broken...

2008-06-04T15:22:00.002-06:00

Yea I maybe broken... My back has been bothering me since sun. night :( It started off as a slight ache.. Now it's way more then that.. It pretty much hurts to do anything! I've been stretching it & everything!! I thought working out would be a good idea yesterday... OH MAN WAS I WRONG! Hurts a 100 times worse.. :( I'm not sure what I did. But lordy lord this needs to go away!!!!!
I hate this so much!!!

Calling all Jackasses!!

2008-06-02T13:00:00.003-06:00

So the title it's self will explain my weekend! But in reference to my own behavior! Wow was I a JACKASS!

So one of my friends was back from the Army this last week. We had a wonderful time! MOST of the week. We hung out all day Fri. GREAT TIME!! Sun night he came by my work I gave him free food, we talked til 3 am. Wonderful time. Mon. night Even Better of a time. But on Thurs. when we went out for our "good bye" Oh that's a different story.. Started off great! We go to the bar that our friend works at.

We're at the bar getting shots, since that's usually what you do in a bar. Even better when they are free.. ;)

Him & I are bullshitting with our bartender friend. Then I hear his nickname being called. It's a mean nickname that he's had for year. One of those that you get use to being called & it just sticks around. I refuse to call him that. But we'll refer to him as "Army Boy"

Anyways. So I hear some lets refer to her a whorish girl calling "army boy" He doesn't hear it. I debate about actually getting his attention.. Cause I have this undying feeling that once I do.. the evening will go DOWNHILL!! I was right BTW!

So I end up being the nice person that I am & get his attention. The whoreish girl throws herself at "Army Boy" they exchange #'s & we end up leaving to go to a different bar, that our designated Driver's little sister could get into.. she has 2 weeks til she is 21 & wanted to hang out with "army boy" before he left. So we go to the NASTIEST bar I've ever been to in my life. We get more drinks. & start playing pool.. Well

Me & my other friend went to go to the bathroom. When we left the pool table "army boy" was on his phone by the pool table.. When we came out he wasn't there.

Our Desi. said he was out front on the phone.. His coat was by my purse.. So I figured he would be right in. When 10 Min's rolls by. We begin to wonder where he went.

The little sister said he left.. We were all in shock. He wouldn't do that! No way! I go out front.. No where to be found.. Start calling him... no answer, text the same.. Finally as we are all pissed he calls me saying we left him... UM NO! We went to the bathroom & you were talking on your phone next to the car dumb ass! He Say's he's going to go get a hotel with the whorish girl! But when we inform him that we're heading to another bar he says he will meet us there.

So we're mad! And head to another bar... It's dead! So we go back to the original destination. I call him to let him know that we are no longer at the dead bar. He answers Screams "WHAT?!" Then hangs up on me....

**FYI** the one thing that clicks my temper on in a heart beat... Is you hanging up on me.. He knows this.. we had a discussion about this during the week when hubby hung up on me**

So I get ohhh mildly irate.. Leave him a nasty message... Not my finest moment..

We get back to the original bar. & our other friend is out front & says that "army boy" showed back up 10 Min's after we left. Yea right after he ditched us he went back for the whore! Yea real nice. Makes us Even madder. Other group of friends tell us to calm down.. easier said then done, when your filled with alcohol goodness.. ALOT of it too.

So we find Army Boy.. turns into a a 3 way screaming match.. Luckily our bartender friend was inside the whole time this went on!!

I end up calling the whorish girl a whore to her face.. But on a satisfying note this is what I said " I hope you have fun with you whore!" Army boy's response "I will" Totally admitting that she's a WHORE! I WIN!

So he goes off with the whore. But me & my friend don't want the screaming match to be the last things we say to Army Boy.. So we go to say good bye... Oh such not a good idea.

We just fight some more.

Once again I leave another LOVELY message on his voice mail. Not to mention any of the text that Both me & my friend sent him through out the night...

Yea...

So we all go back to the worlds best designated drivers house! Pass out & wake up the following morning filled with shame & a HORRIBLE hangover!

He calls.. to say Yea he ditched us.. Oh & to tell me that his phone died & was about to die again... OOPS! I asked if he had listened to my voice mails.. He said not all of them. Just deleted them cause I was rambling! THANK GOD!! We all apologize. But I don't hear much from him on Fri. I am still feeling like the biggest jackass known to man kind!

So on Sat. The day he leaves for 2 years to go off to his far away destination. He texts me to see when I work. I immediately get defensive thinking he wanted free food. So I call him & ask him why? He tells me he wants to say good bye before I have to work.. yea jack ass again! But we say our good byes & leave on a good note.. I guess. But damn I wish I could totally take back that night. We're pretending that it never happened. & I am NOT drinking for a LONG LONG TIME!!

Moral of this story.. Lots of shots of 151 & Captain Morgans, a Army Boy, & a whore stealing your friend don't mix..

The power of 8

2008-05-22T17:39:00.004-06:00

Jenbun tagged me.. So I shall do it :)

Eight things I am passionate about:

1. My kids. I want to raise happy, healthy, children. Make sure they're not spoiled brats & can appreciate things in life. I want them to have all the things I never had when I was growing up & know what the love from your family is!!

2. Becoming a chef! I have wanted to go back to school for several years now. But am pretty much waiting on my kids to get a little bigger, so I can actually accomplish this goal! I hope to own my own restaurant someday!

3. Being me 100% Not stifling my creative side & being happy with who I am. It doesn't matter how others see me, what really matters is that I am the one who likes what I see when I look in the mirror. Still a work in progress, but getting there

4. Enjoying my life to the fullest. I have learned that life is short, & we sometimes take it for granted. I want to look back & not have any regrets & I wishes left. I want to look back & be happy with the choice I made. I mean everyone makes mistakes & things they want to take back. But I mean for the most part. I don't want to have I wish I would've done this!

5. Music! Music is what makes me! I have always LOVED music. All kinds. I love to dance & rock out almost 24/7. It makes my mood change so quickly!! I pretty much listen to music any second I get. Oh man do I love a good concert!! Just the feeling music can give you. I have a soundtrack for every mood I am in! I am always listening to music unless I am at work!

6. Movies! Oh I am a movie whore!! If you could see my DVD collection ohh only over 2000 DVDs. Yes I counted & have them all written on a list! I am a nerd & am ok with that :)

7. my family & friends. It's probably not #7 on my list, it's actually higher up but this is where I put it hah. I am nothing without my friends & family. Since i was adopted when I was 15, I have no real contact with my blood family. & have learned blood means nothing when it comes to family. They mean the world to me. When one of them is hurting I am hurting & want to help fix the problem!

8. Traveling. I have yet to really do alot of it. But it is something I am passionate about. I want to go to all the beautiful places in the world & see all the amazing things out there. Scotland, London, Spain, New York, Australia, Boston, New Zealand, Hawaii, Greece, Italy, China, Paris... Pretty much anywhere but here :P

I love anything new & different! I want to try new things. Meet new people! I can't wait til my kids are a bit bigger & we can start doing this! I want them to love to travel & go see new places too!

Eight things I want to do before I die:

1. Once again Travel. read above :P

2. Sky Dive! I am TERRIFIED of heights! But this is something I really want to do!! Just concur my fear!

3. Bungee Jump. Once again, concur my fear!

4. I am like JenBun I want to experience New Years Eve in Time Square, Mardi Gra in New Orleans. Jenny we can do this together :)

5. Also like JenBun live in a foreign country. I think it would be amazing!

6. Learn a new language. I really want to learn a different language. I know it seems like something small. But I want to learn Italian or french :)

7. Learn Ballet. I have always been fascinated with Ballet, & I really want to learn how to do it. It's so graceful & beautiful!!

8. Learn to ride a bike... Yea I know haha I don't know how to ride a bike. I am 25 & don't know how. Never learned. Deprived childhood. But I shall learn.. some day :P

Eight things I say often:

1. DON'T TOUCH THAT!

2. Lordy Lord

3. Frick on a stick

4. I KNOW!

5. SWEET!

6. No

7. AWESOMENESS

8. Ha I win!

Eight books I’ve read recently:

I don't read as much as I should.. But here is i guess the most recent ones.

1. Jarhead

2. Alice In wonderland

3. Bridget Jones Diary

4. Divine Secrets of the Ya Ya sister hood

5. Devil Wears Prada

6. To Kill a Mockingbird

7. & 8. To come :)

Eight Movies I have seen Eight times:

Oh this mean WAY MORE then 8 times & there maybe a bit more the 8 oopsie :P

1. Dirty Dancing , Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory *these 2 are my all time favs!*, Grease,

2. Jarhead, Notebook, Alice In Wonderland, The Princess Bride

3. Clueless

4. Pirates of the Caribbean (all 3)

5. IT

6. Braveheart

7. Romeo & Juliet

8. Sleepers

Indiana is totally worth it!!

2008-05-22T16:03:00.004-06:00

I am COMPLETELY drained today! I got maybe 2 hrs of sleep. Wanna know why? Cause I went & saw the midnight showing of the new Indiana Jones! Wooo Hoooo!!!

It was AWESOME!! Full of cheesy goodness!! I was singing the theme song all day yesterday out of excitement!

Oh I LOOOOOVVVVEEEDD IT!! It was so fun!! I mean who doesn't like Indiana Jones in he 1st place! I went with my friend Tess, her daddy, Iz, his daddy & sister.Me & Tess sat next together & I think it was Iz's 1st time seeing us together since High School... Lets just say I think he may think we're retarded haha We're a little "special" together lol

But we saw the trailer for Dark Knight. Looks AWESOME but it's still sad that it's Heath's last movie :( He looks NOTHING like Heath, but still sad.

But anyways. I didn't get to bed til close to 4 am since I was totally all pumped up after the movie, which ended at 2:30ish.. But WORTH IT!! That's what coffee's for right?

I highly recommend anyone to see it!

Not the fun kind of trip!

2008-05-21T21:11:00.003-06:00

Wanna know the kinds of trips I HATE? Not the drug kind, or the falling & looking like an ass kind... Oh It's guilt trips!

I am so annoyed! So today I decided to get myself my own pretty pink i Pod. Isn't it cute?

Since hubby & I have been fighting over the one I got him. He said we could share it. So we had been. I use it more then him, yes. But lately he has been pissed whenever I have it & he wants to use it. I understand that it is his.

And that he should be able to use it when he wants, since it is his.
But in my defense. I have requested my own i Pod for the last 3 years!! But some how when it is time for presents for me I always get screwed over.

SO last night I asked "can I get my own i Pod, when we get paid tomorrow?" His reply: "maybe, we'll see" So I took it as yes :P

So I went & got myself one. Since I didn't really get anything for my b-day, When I went out of my way to make sure he got what he wanted for his birthday. I also didn't really get anything for Mother's day. I am use to it, since this is how it has been for any holiday for the last 3 to 4 years..

So when he got home from work I informed him of my AWESOME purchase.. & he proceeds to give me a guilt trip of how he planned on getting me the very same i Pod next week with his bonus check *cough BULL SHIT cough* & decides to pout for an hour & make me feel like crap.

Telling me how I never give him the chance to buy me anything.

He pulled this very same act when Jenbun got me the AWESOMEST Louis Vuitton purse for Christmas.

I FREAKED out when I opened her present. & he pouted saying how he wished he could get me a present & I acted like that. HELLO IT WAS MY 1st LOUIS!!

I've always loved them & never had one.

SO FRUSTRATING!! He has plenty of opportunities to get me presents, just chooses not to. He's the least romantic person ever. I knew this when I married him. I am use to it. But the fact that he tries to give me a guilt trip when I get something, or receive something is annoying!

GUILT IS BULLSHIT!

Twin powers not so much fun at the moment!

2008-05-19T13:59:00.002-06:00

So Jenbun & I always joke how we're like twins. We look alike, act alike, & our lives some how manage to be very similar in many aspects....
So Jenbun threw out her back.. Who's back starts hurting... Oh yea that's mine. On Thurs I noticed SLIGHT pain, By Fri NOT OK. Sat was HORRIBLE! Not to mention I had to work a LONG day, and had the worst hangover of my life! I thought I might die! Apparently I have yet to die... Or is this my ghost typing this blog.. You will never know.
Anyways I have yet to throw my back out, but oh lordy lord it's not feeling so fantastic.
I am a little weary every time I put undies on, cause that is how she broke hers lol I don't want to do down like that. Hey ghost like underwear too :P

I'd like to report a missing season...

2008-05-18T01:43:00.002-06:00

MISSING:
SPRING
Usually sunny, warm NOT much hotter then 75. Beautiful flowers everywhere, Nice cool breezes.
If seen Please contact me!!!

I am SOOO SICK of this HOT HOT WEATHER! It's just now getting cool enough where I don't feel like I am MELTING!
It's ONLY MAY! It's not supost to be 95 degrees!! YUCK! The last 2 days have been hotter then hell...
Well I am not a 100% sure on that. But if there is a hell.... & I am sure I am going, assuming that theres the whole heaven & hell deal is real. I will get back to you on how hot it really is ha

But I don't do well in the heat! I hate anything higher than 80 degrees! I get VERY CRANKY!
Apparently I was being a slight bitch earlier.. It happens. But I just want a fucking spring is that too much to ask for?? I don't think so!

CAN'T I JUST BE A BLOB?!

2008-05-15T13:00:00.002-06:00

So This is the last day of my 1st week back on weight watchers... Which has been alot harder then I thought it would be! I need to go grocery shopping.. which I think that would help. & I have been hoping off & on the scale all week. NOT helpful! Going back & forth from 6lbs lost to 3.. ANNOYING!!
But on the plus side.. I've worked out twice. I know your laughing saying 2 times in 7 days.. not that impressive. But hey it's a start. I am THINKING I might go tonight too. But we'll see. So I am going to go see how much I've actually lost tomorrow am. So I am hoping for the best.. But not feeling oh so confident about it.
Hoping next week goes better then this one!

Reality TV is my weakness!!

2008-05-15T11:51:00.006-06:00

So I am willing to admit I have some crappy taste in TV...

So most my Reality TV shows have come to an end. & I am pleased for the most part with who won!

To start Survivor Fans vs. Favorites.

I am NOT happy with the winner! I HATED Parvity through the whole show!! With a passion if you might say! She was EVIL!! But some how she won.. against Amanda none the less. Amanda should have won!! This was the second time that she was in the finals & lost! Poor thing! So close to a million dollars & lost! Stupid girl should have taken the other girl! Which I hated her too! Parv lied to almost everyone on the jury & they still voted to her. Where as Amanda didn't back stab anyone... Which I totally don't get why they voted for Parv. Well 4 of them did. The other 3 with brains voted for Amanda! Totally irritated!!

Show #2 America's Next Top Model! SOOOOOOOOOOOO HAPPY about who won! Whitney! A "plus size" model! She is so far from being Plus size. But just the fact that she isn't a size 0 makes her a plus size! She is the first plus size to even make it to the top five! & the 1st ever to win!! YAY! A real person is a top model instead of an anorexic twig! YAY FOR WHITNEY!! I am so happy that she won! I think she will make a great roll model for little girl! & really help shape the model industry!! :)

Next on my crappy reality TV list of winners is

The Bachelor London calling

Matt picked my girl!! Yay! I loved Shane through the whole thing! I think it's cause she reminded me of myself haha
But I LOVED her! & She won well I guess in this case not necessarily won, but gets to marry the man :P
She is adorable. She can play the dumb blonde roll quiet well , but is super smart & street savvy :) Which as any Blonde girl likes to pull the dumb blonde act from time to time to get what we want haha

But I guess 2 out of 3 of the people I wanted to win isn't so bad :P

Weight Watchers Watch OUT!!

2008-05-09T12:03:00.002-06:00

So I woke up kinda pissy, but then I realized that was silly! So Today is my 1st day of Weight Watchers I am rather excited about it! The thing I love is that there is nothing I can't have :) So that is always a great way to look at it. I have 33 points.. & It will only get less amount as I loose the weight. But it will get easier. So day one so far so good. Hoping to go to the gym before I go to Lindz tonight. If not I will fit it in this week for sure!

Case of the Flootey Floo's

2008-05-07T16:28:00.003-06:00

So this last few weeks I've been down in the dumps. Or as my bestie calls it the "Flootey Floo's" I have discovered the root of the problem.
A.
One of my best friends I will call her Mama *she just had a baby not too long ago* Called me about two weeks ago, upset about her baby daddy. While I had a house full of people. 7 to be exact. Also while I was getting my nails done. Mind you I have a 2 bedroom townhouse. So when it is filled with 7 people all trying to talk to me or with each other little hard to hear or focus on the person who is on the phone with me.
So she got her feelings hurt by me not being able to give her a 100% attention. Then chooses not to talk to me over a week! When I tried calling her she sent me to voice mail OUCH! Also ignoring my texts. Not til last Fri when I asked her if she was mad at me, did I get the reason for her ignoring me. Kinda silly I thought. I apologized, & we've talked OH MAYBE 2 times since! So now my feelings are hurt! Not only did I think it was funny how she didn't even bring it to my attention that I hurt her feelings, but has continued to ignore me since I've apologized for hurting her feelings. So now I am feeling hurt & sad at the fact that I may have lost one of my best friends over something silly! I don't know how to fix this. I miss her so much, but how can I talk to someone about the problem when she chooses to ignore me?

Reason B.

My weight! I have been feeling rather BLOBISH the last week or so. BUT I am going to fix that problem here tomorrow. Re-joining Weight Watchers tomorrow evening! Very excited about that!! It's perfect that right now til the 10 th it's no enrollment fees just gotta pay for the weekly due :) YAY ME! So I will be posting my weekly weight loss on here WOO! I did loose almost 80lbs doing weight watchers a few yrs ago :D So I know it works! I know how to do it, but I am one of the people who has to go to the meetings so I can be held responsible for if I have a crappy week. I know it's not all about the weight. It's more about the inches for me. But I also will be actually using my gym membership so I will hopefully shed the weight/ inches quickly. So I will feel more confident when I make my trip to Cali this July... Might get in a bathing suit if we **JenBun** & I find a good one :)

Reason C.
The 20 month Ann of m y adopted dad's death is sneaking up on me! It's weird how I just know when it is, without even really knowing the date. On the 9 th it will be 20 months since the last time I saw him. It's really hard to even think that it has been that long since I have seen him. Feels longer, but so short of time all at the same time. Hard to explain!!

Reason D.

MONEY! We should be doing better then we are. For the last yr. I feel like we are drowning financially! and just as things seem to be getting back on track something else hits us! FRUSTRATING! But I have been making a valiant effort to do better managing our money! So hopefully this will change!

But I am trying to change my mood! I think working out will really help with my mood! giving me more energy for sure! Lets hope taking all these little steps will help cure this case of the Flootey Floo's!!

Where would you be with out a friend like this?

2008-04-23T09:06:00.002-06:00

I've been having a super hard time in my life at the moment, & if it wasn't for my wonderful friend JenBun I would be totally lost!! I am actually a guest blogger for her today.. well yesterday :)
But she has been there for me no matter what! She is such a wonderful friend! I feel so blessed to have her as a friend!
We can talk for hours & have eachother ROLLING! I am sure my hubby thinks that we're crazy, from half of the conversations that he hears. But haha he's the idiot that married me! HAHA in your face!
But we can make any conversation into something way more intresting then it actually is! The weird part is that we have yet to meet. But that will happen this July & will be WICKED AWESOME!
CAN'T WAIT TIL THEN!!
But yea she is pretty amazing! I don't know how I would make it through half the things going on in my life if it wasn't for her!
LOVE YOU JENBUN!!

The "joys" of parenting...

2008-04-17T16:57:00.005-06:00

I love my kids more then anything in the world! But sometimes I just wish I could get a break sometimes!!
Beth is almost 6 & Ky Ky just turned 3.. So I have my hands full! It doesn't help that I work nights & don't get enough sleep at all!
I just want to escape for a bit! Does this make me a bad parent? I don't think so. I have been a mom since I was 18.. well technically 19 *pregnant @ 18, had her a few months after I was 19* So I've never really had the "normal" teenage life. Well I never really had a normal life. I had to grow up fast. So I never thought anything of it that I was forced to be a mom at a young age. It's a lot harder than you would think..
It wasn't til after my adopted dad died that I really started being a "selfish", but I realized that I deserve some "me" time. Where I am not a mom/wife for a few hours! I am just 25 year old Tanya!
And lately I feel like I don't get that really.
I don't resent my kids at all, & they are the reason for me waking up everyday! But I am in just in a need of a night to myself!
They're the joys of my life & crack me up all the time. But it is days like this, when they don't listen very well, that I just want a moment!
A moment that I am not yelling " don't eat that!", "get your hand out of your butt" ,"What did you put in your nose", & "Stop hitting each other" Sentences you never really thought you would have to use.. Just wait. When your a parent some of the things you have to say. Would totally help if Ky Ky would potty train. I know he JUST turned 3, But lord have mercy I am DONE with the whole diaper thing! Driving me nutty!!
But it's the sweet moments that keep you from selling them on the black market!
When Ky Ky just wants to snuggle, or Beth feels the need to do my hair.. never a pretty out come, but still cute! Or when they accomplish something on their own, and they're so proud of themselves.
That's what keeps them around :P Helps that they're really cute.
I just get tiered of doing everything around the house. Working til 2am, getting up @ 6 to take Beth to the bus stop for school, having to clean the house, help her with her homework, & all that kind of stuff. Would be great if the hubby helped more.. But that is a totally different ranting blog!

My Obsessions!

2008-04-15T12:36:00.005-06:00

I just discovered the worlds best show ever! & since we've gotten our dvr & have become quite the TV addict!

1st off is the WONDERFUL show THE TUDORS!

With the sexy Jonathan Rhys Meyers! YUM-O! I liked him before this show, but now am a total fan!! But the show is about a Young Kind Henry the VIII.

Oh & a fun fact about me. Apparently I am a descendant of him.. My grammy was way into genealogy & found that out long time ago. not sure how, but yea I am Royalty. Booyah!

But anyways. Season 2 just started. Which I had to wait FOREVER!! But if you have Showtime I Highly recommend that you check this show out. The 1st episode of the 1st season was kinda long & filled with LOTS of info.. I thought I wouldn't like it.. But after it ended I wonder what was going to happen next. With it being history too, you kinda know. But you still want to see the sexed up version.. Much better lol Then I was HOOKED!! Love it!

TV Obsession #2:

ONE TREE HILL

My little sister is the one who got me hooked on this one. I've been hooked for almost 2 years. It was something that brought us together after our dad died. She was already hooked & made me record it for her since the didn't have cable for a few weeks. So she came over & watched it & I got interested.. & went out & bought all the previous seasons & now & a COMPLETE fan! YAY!

I know it's a total high school show, but can't help but love it! It reminds you of when you were in highschool. And I have found some other "adults" who like the show. Oh & it's fun to torture my hubby while I watch it! Also Chad Micheal Murray is HOT!

Obsession #3: BIG BROTHER

I know reality TV is totally over rated... but I've watched this show for years & since our dvr I can watch all the episodes in a season, since before i would miss something. Since it is on like 3 times a week. So I've watched the last 3 seasons all the way through. I totally think I would be good at this game. For anyone who hasn't seen or heard of the show. You go into this house, with 16 other people. & you compete for H.O.H (head of household) Where you put 2 people up to get voted out. Then you compete for P.O.V.( power of Veto) whoever wins the p.o.v. has the option to take one of the people put up down. & the H.O.H will renominate someone. Then the house guest, besides the 2 up & h.o.h. will vote someone out. But the game last 3 months. No contact from the outside world, besides if you win h.o.h. you get letters & pics from your family... OH & you have food comp. Where you play to win food or you get slop.. which looks like this nasty oatmeal type stuff! But from the sounds of it doesn't taste like oatmeal at all! So now you know how the game is played & want to watch it huh? Well this season is almost over.. Sad I know. & this season was kinda crappy, cause the had it as couples most the game. Then it went back to how it is normally played. But oh well. Still love the show! You should too!

On to Obsession #4:

LOST

OK this show is AMAZING! & we've watched it from the very 1st season! You never know what is going to happen on this show.Some of the shit that happens on the show is CRAZY! But you get totally hooked!! Who thought a show about a plane crashing on a island could last this long. But OMG it is GOOOOD! There is always something CRAZY going on! Lots of Love triangles & twists & turns. Just when you find something out that you've been dying to know the answer too, they throw something even more nuts out there & leave you hanging! Can you say addicting? So if you haven't seen it I recommend that you go rent season 1. Cause you can't just jump into it. Doesn't work. There is so much you need to know!

Alright #5:

Grey's Anatomy:

This show rocks my socks off! Oh it makes me sad that it's been off the air for so freakin long! SO HAPPY that it's coming back on! Woo! But I tried not to like it. Didn't watch it the 1st season.. but was home alone when season 2 started.. & was bored.. & it was on.. Totally got hooked. But how could you not? I love it! Very very good show. This show makes me wonder if life as a Dr. at a hospital is really like that? So if your a Dr. of some sort & work at a hospital please answer this question thank you :)

OK I know there are a few more, but this is a pretty long list to begin with.. Maybe another day I will finish my list of obsessions... & this is only my TV obsessions lol There are a lot more things I love :D

DAMN THIS HORMONES!!

2008-04-14T13:20:00.002-06:00

I hate feeling like this! Where you could cry at the drop of a hat.. I mean I chocked up at a freakin commercial.. Sad I know.. And to make it worse.. It was a Mc Donald's one.. EVEN SADDER I KNOW!
I know a lot of it has to do with the Ann of my adopted dad's death, which was yesterday. But other then that I don't know what could be the root of these silly emotions. I am getting really annoyed by them! I mean who wants to cry over some ridiculous commercial?! Not me!! But hopefully I will get back to my sunny disposition soon!

It's been 19 months..

2008-04-14T00:24:00.002-06:00

19 months since the horrible night you took your own life.. Since I've heard your voice, since you've made fun of something stupid I've said or did. 19 months since I've heard you laugh or yell at a game. 19 months since you've seen your kids, or mine. You've missed out on a lot of things. Seen your daughter's 1st dance on a JV Dance team. Your sons oral surgery. Beth turning 5, Ky Ky turning 2 & 3, me turning 24 & 25.
19 LONG months. I've missed you every one of those day & have thought of you every one of them as well.
It's weird how my subconscious even knows what day of the month it is, without me even realizing it.
I woke up today & have been down in the dumps all day. Not even realizing what my problem was. Then I saw the date...
It's been 19 months full of tear.. lots of things we wished we could say to you. I just miss you every day! & wished there was a way you could be back in my life!

OMG I'm half of 50!!

2008-04-11T14:30:00.004-06:00

So Tue I turned 25! Woo Hoo!! Not as bad as I thought it would be. The day started off kinda rough. But in the end, it turned out GREAT! I went to my sister's. Which was wonderful & we had a great time! She totally caught me off guard when she bought me a cake!! Which I haven't had a birthday cake since I was 18! Which she also was the one who got it for me!! It was so nice!! I haven't really had anything special done for me on my B-day in YEARS! So this was such a great treat!! She got me the cutest card, flowers, some booze & my cake :) What more could you ask for on your birthday :D

We had such a fun night. Stayin up far too late & we had fun gardening . Which apparently I am good at making little paths ,you know the kind with those stones.. I can't remember the name it is called... Something starting with a M.. Do you know? But I totally rocked at it haha bad pun! But it was such a good day. Kinda started out rough, but ended well.

The b-day fun even continued next day, the hubby & I went to the movies. Which is always nice to have date night. Since having kids date night doesn't happen a whole lot. So over all 25 has been good.

apparently everything is my fault

2008-04-01T11:55:00.000-06:00

ok so I have been SUPER SUPER careful since we got the account in order... But I wrote 2 checks BEFORE vegas. So over a month ago. That I had already thought cleared.. But NO now they did. When i have written EVERYTHING down! EVERYTHING! Now I get FUCKED over by these 2 checks! Kyle is mad at me in the fact that this is my fault again! he screamed at me we should’ve had more money in the account in the 1st place. But we would’ve had at least 60$ to get us through the week. Which that wouldve been fine.But he said we should’ve had way more then that. I am sorry I bought him & ky ky presents!& I paid our phone & cable bill! Now once again I probably won’t get anything for my birthday & he will make me feel like it is my fault

Aww sad!

2008-03-27T16:20:00.000-06:00

So I have this irritating Kitten that my sister gave me.. Not a fan of this cat at all!! But wouldn't want anything bad to happen to her. We already have 2 cats. Which I like MOST of the time. But they are fixed & can go outside WHENEVER they want! New kitten.. Not so much. Still needed to get her fixed. But she must of gotten outside when I let one of the other cats out.. & now she hasn't been around for like 2 days! Which in the big picture of things not that bad, but I still feel bad. And I just hope that someone saw her & thought she was lost so they took her in. She had a collar on but no tags. So I am hoping best case is that she got a new home.. They can have the kitten that keeps you up all night, poops on your laundry & makes the worlds biggest mess when eating. Oh also that gets on the counter & trys to eat the fish, spills things & is just aggervating!