Summer has begun!

I'm getting use to have all 4 kiddos all day long again. And I'm loving it! We've had a really good few days so far. They've all gotten along & have actually been rather helpful.

Bry came home on Sunday. A wonderful father's day present for Jeremy. Which we had a lovely day! Went to a bbq & saw Man of Steel! AMAZING MOVIE!!

My cute boys at the movie. We had a great time.

The kids have been all playing great with eachother as well. Lots of playing outside, snuggles, & just dance marathons lol

It's been awhile...

It has been far too long since I have last sat down & blogged. Lots has happened & changed. But I'm going to start blogging more. I think it's a good outlet for me.

I'm feeling overwhelmed at t moment & need somewhere to get it all out. I'm drowning in my emotions... Some good, some bad. Lots of things are happening at once & I'm having a hard time processing it all.

Jeremy is working more & seems to be miserable with his job. But is doing it because he has to provide for our family. Which breaks my heart knowing I can't do anything to make his pain any better. I know he hates it & is so stressed and exhausted by the time he gets home. I miss him on top of it all, yet don't want to bombard when he gets home. He plays with the kids, eats dinner & usually passes out shortly after that. :(

Bry will be coming home tomorrow for the summer. Which is happy , yet stressful all at the same time. We always have a hard time the first few weeks. He struggles getting back into the routine of things here. Which is hard on everyone. Then he gets a bit homesick for his mom. It's wonderful that he loves his mom so much. I just wish he could see how much more she should be doing for him! He gets upset that we actually make him act like a responsible 12 year old. She really holds him back & babies him for some stuff & then doesn't hold him responsible for other things. Which makes it extremely difficult when we have him.

Jeremy is harping on me again about getting my licence. Which I want to. But as I've explained to him many times. I'm terrified of driving the stupid van! I know how to drive. I just hate driving the van! It is too big & it freaks me out. I have super anxiety over. I have been in several t-bone accidents. And tend to stress myself out! It's not that I don't want to drive. I REALLY do. It's just I'm scared shit less! I know I need to put my big girl pants on & just do it! I'm hoping we can get me a little car & I can get it this year! 2013 is going to be the year! It will be a HUGE help to our family! & relieve a TON of stress from Jeremy's shoulders!

Also been working on getting healthy & loosing weight! Frustrating battle! I'm not the heaviest I've ever been. But too damn close! I've been eating better & working out. Ye am having such a hard time shedding the weight. Not helping my self esteem at all! But it'll come off in time I guess!

That's it for now... I'm sure more will be coming soon :)

Everything happens for a reason...

I have to remind myself this daily! It's been rough the last few months & I am looking forward to times with less stress! Which I hope is sometime soon! Not sure how much more I can take honestly!
At the moment Jeremy & I are living with his family. For the most part it's wonderful & we all get along. But what I miss the most is having privacy, my own space, and all our thing's.
Jeremy, myself, & our 3 children sleep in the living room. *Le Sigh*
So as I'm sure you can imagine, it sucks! Especially when you are living in a household of 10. You don't get a whole lot of sleep. People get up & down all night or are noisy... It just stinks. I am thankful that we have a roof over our heads & food.

Thing's have been harder than usual. Right now we've had to endure Jeremy's brother throwing temper tantrums of loosing his truck in a drinking & driving accident, that he was the one who did the drinking & driving. He drove his truck into a phone pole going 90 miles an hr. with their cousin in the car. Both of them were fine thank God. But since then *4 months ago* He's been whoa is me, & why did this happen to me. It's rather frustrating! He storms around the house swearing, screaming, slamming & breaking things.
He's broken several plates, punched a hole in a door, & broke the screen door... SO SICK OF IT!

Not to mention that we've had to deal with Jeremy's alcoholic step-dad. Who goes on week or two long benders, coming home swearing about how he hates everyone & they all should die. Or talks about porn when my kids are in ear shot. >=( I can't STAND that guy!! We stayed with Jeremy's wonderful Aunt & Uncle Sat. night & they've offered that if thing's continue that we're welcome there. But we're hoping his mom takes care of actually kicking the a$$ hole out!

BUUUUUT I do have good news =) I got a job! Woo! I now work @ Ross Dress for Less =D I love my job! I started in May. And the on going joke when I started was "don't drink the water, or you'll get pregnant.".... Well guess what I found out on July 1st.... Yea I'm pregnant lol I was on the pill & Boy was it a big surprise! We were both shocked! But are very excited. And I defiantly believe thing's happen for a reason. The week I found out I was pregnant, when I was freaking out about "how are we going to be able to handle this, when we live in the living rm. of Jeremy's mom's, Jeremy doesn't have a job, & I make min. wage." Jeremy got a job! So know that thing's will be okay! He's working for Umbrella Properties & has been there for about almost a month now. He loves it & has been doing great! So proud of him!

I'm due March 1st as of for now. My 1st Dr. appointment is Aug 17th, I'll be 12 weeks & 1 day. So far thing's have been going good. Minus the nausea & vomiting lol Less stress would be nice! Like I said before hoping that happens soon.


It's also looking like we can move in a month or so =) Hoping sooner. VERY EXCITED about that! It'll be mine & Jeremy's 1st place together! At the apartment I felt like it was his, since I moved in with him. But this will be our home together. Our 1st place as a married couple!! Very exciting stuff if you ask me. So I know there is a light at the end of the tunnel, but it's hard to see it at times. Just have to keep reminding myself =)

Wow What a year it has been for me..

If you would've asked me last year at this time if I would be happy, in love, & remarried to the man of my dreams, I would've laughed in your face. Well that is what I am. =) And I can't help but thank the Gods everyday for it. I am truly blessed to have Jeremy in my life & am ridiculously happy! I almost forgot how it felt to feel like this!!

A LOT A LOT has happened over the last few months. In Dec. I miscarried, which turned out to be a very good thing, because at the end of Jan. Jeremy lost his job. Which he was the assistant manager at the apartments we were living at. So now we're staying with his family. Which is rather nice. There is 10 of us here, but it's a rather big house & I LOVE having family around. Never got much of that before, and I am enjoying it. Plus we always have a sitter most of the time. =P
I do miss our privacy.. but hey thank god we have them, because our asses would be homeless if it wasn't for them. So we can sacrifice a little privacy for a roof over our heads.

But here's the fun news! Jeremy & I got married on Valentines Day!! SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! He was so cute! He did most of the planning. lol Cause we did all the planning in two weeks! Yes I know we're nuts, But when you find that one love.. You just know! And we both just know. Our wedding was perfect for us. Small, simple, & unique.

Tess stayed the night before & we played rockband and hung out with his cousins and family. We all pretty much just hung out most of the day til it was wedding time. Very relaxed compared to most weddings. One of the main reasons neither one of us wanted a regular wedding. It was just too stressful for either one of us. All we cared about was being married to each other!
Our friend, Will who's ordained is the one who married us, at Jeremy's mom's house in there pretty back yard. Jeremy's father walked me down the isle. If I was thinking about it I would've had my brother give me away. But I totally was frazzled & too excited to even focus on anything than the fact that I was marring my bestie! lol But it was nice that Bob was nice enough to do that for us. ** Jeremy & his dad haven't always gotten along or have that great of a relationship.** Moving along though =P I walked down the isle to Green Day "Last Night On Earth" *~ Mine & Jeremy's Song. Plus Jeremy took me to see them in Seattle this summer. Talk about fun! =)~* So it was very fitting for me. The ceremony was short & sweet. But perfect! Here's a video of it: I could barely talk through my vows cause Jeremy's were so so sooooo sweet! We then toasted and started partying! Did the norm. stuff. Cake, dance *which his step daddy wrote us a song & it was super sweet!*,be merry. It was such a wonderful day!! His mom & Aunt got us a room at this AMAZING bed & Breakfast called the Campbell Inn, which they upgraded for free! So we had a jacuzzi & fireplace!! Sooooooo nice! I love love loved the place!! it was awesome! Such a perfect way to end our wedding. But now I've been married to my bestie for almost two weeks & it just keeps getting better. So that's it for my update at the moment. I'm sure more is to come.

This was NOT the way I wanted 2009 to end!

Late Sunday night I started bleeding & by yesterday afternoon I was cramping, & the bleeding had increased & was having a miscarriage. I'm heart broken, I never wanted to be pregnant before & I can't even express how bad I wanted this pregnancy. So this is extremely difficult, & I feel like it was stolen from me, & don't understand why.
But I'm coming to terms with that everything happen for a reason, & that Jeremy & I will have a baby when the time is right. But it's still a hard pill to swallow.

Morning sickness BLOWS!

I'm so sick of feeling sick! This reeeeeaaaaly stinks! I'm super excited about being preggers, & this is really the 1st pregnancy I can say that about. But OMG I'm nauseous all the time! Nothing I do makes it go away! And I'm not even 5 weeks! It started right away! Bleh! I'm just hoping it goes away & doesn't stick around the whole pregnancy.

And I think if I was skinny I would be showing already.. Cause my pants are highly annoying & feel a bit snug.. I'm feeling like a cow at the moment.. So not having a super happy moment lol

But yay for new baby on the wat =P

Here's to a happy New Year!

Things have been going along wonderfully! For Christmas Jeremy got me a snazzy new laptop! It's super duper bad ass! I highly recommend HP =)

We also have some big new to share! We now have a bundle of joy on the way. We decided to try for a baby.. and the 1st try we got lucky! Some people might think we're nuts, but we can't be happier. I've never been this blissfully happy in my life it's pretty awesome! We can't wait to meet our lil bean. I'm due Sept. 1st 2010! I hopefully will be going to the dr with in the coming week, so that due date might change. Some peeps think I'm further along.. But I'm not sure. But as for now I'm just over 4 weeks! Squeeee!


Oh & this is totally random! I just watched the trailer for the Tim Burton's "Alice in Wonderland". OMG LOVE LOVE IT! For anyone who knows me at all, they know my obsession with Alice in Wonderland! I've loved it since I was a little girl! But I totally love the take that Time Burton has done! Looks A-MAZING! Not to mention Johnny Depp as the Mad Hatter, how can you go wrong with that?!
Here's the trailer! Alice in wonderland trailer You totally need to check it out fo shiz!